How To Be "Just Friends"

Throughout my life till now, males and females have been battling it out, trying to find a sure balance between friendship and the possibility of something more. There are many differences between men and women, including interests, the amount of drama we can handle, or just the fact that we are completely different from head to toe. Some of these attract us to each other; but how do the rules of attraction apply when friendship is the only end we are seeking?

Rahul, a "guy-girl-friend expert," spilled his guts to me on what makes a guy-girl friendship work. Rahul said that the one thing everyone has in common is the desire to laugh and have fun. He understands that a guy's idea of having fun often can involve a high-risk (Hope everybody knows) and a girl's idea of fun may be chatting it up with friends. He believes there is a happy medium where both sexes can enjoy themselves together, such as sharing a similar sense of humor.

So what makes a committed relationship any different?
"If there was a girl I liked, I would be more concerned with impressing her with my sense of humor or amazing athletic ability," he laughs. “If I were with one of my best-girlfriends, I would act like myself, with no intentions, just to have a good time.” Rahul recalls a girl friend who began to have feelings for him that he did not feel in return. Rahul suggested that anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation should first, and foremost, be honest. Rahul warns, "It is the worst thing to lose one of your best girl friends because emotions get in the way. Girlfriends may last two months to two years, but awesome girls who are ‘just friends’ can last a lifetime."

Divya gives a female perspective on relationships with the opposite sex, admitting that some of her closest friends are guys. She feels they are more honest, great at giving advice, and allow her to be herself. According to Divya, "Guys tell me exactly what they are thinking and don't play games." Her answer to maintaining a friendship with a guy is to talk to them and set things straight before the idea of something more becomes a full infactuation. If you find yourself having feelings for a guy that only sees friendship in the cards, it may be helpful to distance yourself from him and his friends, to get your feet back on the ground, and to let the initial emotion of a "crush", pass without taking prisoners.

Guys know how to make any situation fun and add humor to even the most stressful circumstances. There are certain things I can only talk about with my girlfriends, and in my life, having great girlfriends is important to who I am. My advice for when a friendship turns out to be more: go with the flow. If it works out, it works out. If not, then hopefully the friendship was strong enough to begin with to last through the “break-up” and beyond.